Kavita read the ad again. Cultured
and broad-minded. The words stood out like diamonds in a pearl necklace, in the
requirements for the bride.
Her ‘research’ into the word
‘cultured’, through discussions with her friends was that the girl should be
steeped in Indian traditions and customs, like bowing to the elders in the
family each time that she crossed their paths, cooking a variety of dishes
appeasing each family member’s culinary preferences, wearing traditional
clothes like a sari or a salwar-kurta,
performing the puja daily, fond of
‘celebrating’ festivals (wherein everyone but her would enjoy, as she would be
bogged down by the additional work during that time), soft-spoken, polite and
docile-enough so that she wouldn’t argue with her in-laws or husband or anyone
in her sasural, for that matter;
nurture her children with the right social and cultural values; be submissive
to her pati-parmeshwar and generally
do everything to keep her family happy!
It was as if the onus of the whole
household would be on her. The work as well as the well-being as well as the
peace and happiness of the family were her sole responsibility. In short, she
would have to be one who was ever ready to compromise, putting everyone’s needs
in priority and unfailingly bringing up the rear, with a beatific smile to
boot!
Broad-minded. Ah, that was even more
interesting! How could a girl be cultured (as in reserved) and broad-minded (as
in bold and forward-minded) at the same time? Would it mean wearing trendy
clothes whenever needed, standing shoulder to shoulder with her husband by
having a fag or a peg at a social gathering? Tap-dancing? Pole-dancing?
Cracking jokes with his friends?
Would it mean that she should turn a
blind eye to her husband’s not-so-discreet flings with other broad-minded
lasses? Would it mean that she shouldn’t complain about her husband’s late
nights, partying, habits like drinking and smoking, irritating habits like
snoring and walking around the house in his underpants? Endure his taunts and
jibes meant to undermine her confidence and self-esteem? Let everyone in the
house callously walk over her like a use-and-throw door-mat? Put up a brave
front of a happily-married woman when she plainly wasn’t?
Now Kavita grew agitated. She
readjusted herself on the brown plastic chair creaking under her 70 kilograms
of weight and crossly thought, “There should be a separate column wherein the
prospective brides could put down their expectations of their future in-laws
too!”
She imagined the wordings carefully.
Now she was fully engrossed in this game.
“Wanted cheerful, helpful,
considerate, non-interfering and non-demanding in-laws.”
She wondered whether it was too tall
an order!
As she idly glanced at the ad again,
she re-read, ‘Caste no bar.’
Hmm. That was a different ball-game
altogether. According to her, when a person stated that, he was either
genuinely broad-minded or wanted to be a least perceived as one.
She remembered playing with her
school-mates and being asked by one of them, “You are a Brahmin, na?” She would just smile in the
affirmative.
“What difference does it make? Isn’t
our blood of the same red color? Isn’t it the same air that we breathe in?
Isn’t it the same water that we drink to quench our thirst?” she’d want to ask
but keep mum. It did make all the
difference in the world.
Her friends would just stop
interacting with her, sharing her meals and sitting beside her! She had seen it
happen with scores of other kids in their small school in her village. She had
never dared to tell them that she was not what they assumed! Her parents did
the same so it seemed but natural to her, as a young girl of 8, to do likewise.
Let sleeping dogs lie!
Now coming back to the ad, could it mean that the
groom was from a so-called lower caste? Or was he married earlier and separated
or divorced and finding it hard to find a match within his own community? Was
he unable to find a suitably qualified and beautiful girl within his community?
Was he settled abroad as an NRI?
If he was none of the above, he was
genuinely a broad-minded person and deserved kudos for straying purposefully
off the beaten path! Nothing less than a social reformer!
To be continued....
The copyright of this story is with Mrs. Priya Ramesh Swaminathan.
This story has also been published at www.penfactor.com.
To be continued....
The copyright of this story is with Mrs. Priya Ramesh Swaminathan.
This story has also been published at www.penfactor.com.
